sociology

Social norms are a funny thing. They vary so much, not just between different people in different countries but even between different populations within the same country, so does it make sense to call it a norm if they can be so different? As part of our pre-service training, we were instructed on Togolese social norms such as the importance of protocol when making decisions (if you are going to plan an event that involves a reasonable amount of people such as a sensibilization on AIDS, you are required to invite everyone from the directors of the local schools to the chief of the prefecture in some cases), acceptable vs. unacceptable forms of public behaviour (it’s common to find two men or two women holding hands in public but it’s unacceptable for two people of the opposite sex who are unmarried to hold hands) and how it is perfectly normal to refer to someone as “the fat one” or “the cripple”. As Americans trying to integrate into our new communities, we are advised on how to act and behave so as to better “fit in”, gain acceptance, and survive.

Going back to something I mentioned in my new year’s post about “integration”, I’ve come to the conclusion that it might be pretty much physically (or any other kind of “-ally”) impossible to fully integrate into a culture. You can learn their language, you can wear their clothing, you can date their women, you can eat their food, but can someone from outside Togo ever be Togolese (case in point: PCV Chris Thompson)? The fact that we are yovos will never go away; the children of Sotouboua may stop calling me yovo (or ansai or anasara…you pick the local language) but the moment I step out of Sotouboua, I will once again be perceived as just another yovo in Togo. Psychologically speaking, humans are conditioned to make their first judgments about people based on appearance and all people in Togo are conditioned to always view non-Togolese as yovos (yovo meaning “white skin” and applies to all foreigners, regardless of race). So what do we do as volunteers? We are supposed to integrate into our communities in order to better do our work but if integration is pretty much impossible, where do we go from here? Do we fully integrate or just integrate enough to survive?

And then what do we do when we return to America? Most volunteers don’t plan on spending the rest of their lives in their country of service so that means holding onto a part of our “American-ness”, in this case our social norms, till we return. But if doing so hinders our ability to integrate, what do we do? Do we try to give up all pre-learned American social etiquette in order to have a more fulfilling and integrated experience in Togo only to have to re-learn the forgotten American norms in 2 years when we return? Or do you forever live in your country of assignment constantly surrounded by a wall (of whatever thickness depending on how many norms you are willing to let go off and how many you need to hold on to) that separates you from your community? Do we integrate or do we just try to “fit-in”?

Perhaps that’s where “fitting-in” comes into play. Perhaps this means co-existence, enough integration to do work but not enough integration to become a part of the culture and society, being more than a tourist but less than a habitant.

This is my attempt at being philosophical. Open to comments…

- Nikhil

P.S. this is what happens when you lie on your bed and stare at your ceiling for about 2 hours every day for a week. You ponder about everything from our own existence to the history of the necktie (no joke, Marcus and I had an hour long discussion regarding the uses and possible history of the tie the other day over a dinner of pâte and peanut sauce. Our musings were later confirmed by Wikipedia. Thanks wiki!).