hey y’all,
When they said you’ll experience your “highest highs and lowest lows” they really weren’t kidding! I apologize for not having posting in over a month but the past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. Not so much with adjusting to life here in Togo, as I am feeling pretty well “adjusted”, but a series of good and bad events have been seriously playing with my mental state. One moment something amazing is happening and I am on top of the world; the next moment and something is dragging me down to the ground. Let’s go back a few weeks and watch the Ferris wheel of my life spin…
September 13th: I finally attended my first VST meeting in Sotouboua. Every month on the second Saturday, all the members gather to discuss various issues from updates by the administrative bureau to discussing the role nutrition plays in keeping one’s CD4 count high. It was great to finally meet many of the members whom I had not met before; it was also the first Togolese run meeting that I had attended so it was interesting to watch the group dynamics of how they facilitate. Although the meeting started off as a “high”, it slowly progressed into a big “low” when two events transpired during the meeting. First of all, Fortuné, my official homologue who works as a lab technician at the hospital and was also one of the founding members of Vie Saine announced that he was being “affectée-d” (or transferred) to Kpalimé. As a government worker, people are constantly being affectée-d to various parts of the country to meet the needs of those communities; no one really has a choice because you either move or you get fired. Since working “for the government” (technically) is probably one of the best and most stable jobs one can find in Togo, everyone pretty much does as they are told. Anyways, with Fortuné being transferred to another part of the country, at least 6 hours away, this poses a problem for Vie Saine since he was not only a driving force in the community for HIV/AIDS advocacy but also as the lab technician, he was aware of the HIV status of any person in the community who got tested. Losing Fortuné is a huge loss for VST.
Second, after Fortuné’s announcement, a fight breaks out between Bello, my other homologue and also the Executive Director of VST, and the members. Due to a misunderstanding in communication and in how exchange rates work, the members accused Bello and Fortuné of “bouff-ing” (stealing) money; this is apparently a huge problem and something we as PCVs need to watch out for when planning projects. The misunderstanding occurred because the previous month, a Spanish group of volunteers (led by Fortuné’s brother who lives in Spain) visited VST and donated about 200 Euros and a bunch of old clothes. The members misunderstood and thought the group had donated 200.000 CFA which is a very different amount (200 Euros is about 150.000 CFA). Even though the admin bureau tried to explain the situation, things got heated. I think this is where some other issues came into play such as Bello being Nigerian and untrustworthy (they REALLY HATE Nigerians not just here in Togo but in Africa in general apparently…If you call someone a Nigerian, it’s a HUGE insult!) and I think someone was called a whore but since at this point the group switched to a mixture of French and Kabiyé, I was totally lost (most of the drama that I am discussing is part what I was able to understand and part what Bello explained to me the next day in a post-meeting recap). Anyways, drama drama drama and next thing I know Bello is announcing that he is resigning. So now I’m left with zero homologues.
Oh and to top it all off, instead of saving that money that was donated by the Spanish group and putting it towards developing projects for VST, the bureau decides to donate the money out to all the individual members which turns out to be very little (each members received between 3.000 and 5.000 CFA which is between $6-$10). This substantially decreases the amount of money VST has to work with for the upcoming months.
So basically in one meeting, I find out that I am losing both of my homologues and that my AIDS association is pretty much broke. Fan-freaking-tastic...
September 18th: Tami from Tchamba meets me in Sokodé to present me with the cutest puppy ever: Swarley! During post visit, Tami was asking around to see if anyone wanted to get one of the new puppies from her compound. Since I had always wanted a dog and mom can’t stop me since I’m on a different continent, I agreed and Tami gave me the puppy and all her old dog supplies for free. Score! Definite “high” as I FINALLY get to own a puppy! Should be interesting…
September 27th: My phone is stolen in the Sotouboua marché. I was running around in the late afternoon picking up some soja and tomatoes for dinner when I reach into the outside pocket of my bag and discover that my phone is gone. I try retracing my steps and frantically search the marché and my house for it but can’t find it. After locating Marcus and having him call my phone, I discover that it has been turned off which means that it was definitely stolen. So now I have to go to Sokodé to get a new phone…I also receive word through Marcus that Taressa has decided to ET (early terminate) and that Krissy is contemplating ETing as well. Definite “low”…
Oct. 1st: I head to Pagala and then Atakpamé to participate in the CREJE training of trainers (TOT) for a new OEV club based on the AED-Kara Club Espoir model. It was awesome to not only see my volunteer friends in the Plateaux Region but great to play with kids for a weekend. I want to start a similar project in Sotouboua through Vie Saine so it was good to learn about kids clubs and to know that I have support from the Atakpamé crew. Big “high”…
On the other hand I find out Allison has already ETed and quiet Mikey is about to ET. There must be something is the Peace Corps water cooler because quiet Mikey makes him the 4th person to ET within a span of 2 weeks from our stage. “Low”…
October 8th: I help out with a dépistage at the Sotouboua hospital that is co-sponsored by VST. It’s nice to feel productive. Fortune let’s me sit in on some pre- and post- test counseling sessions with patients so I get exposed to HIV testing and counseling. “High”…
October 11th: Reid wants to have a big party for her birthday and cook jambalaya so I offer my house since it’s made for hosting large parties. It’s nice to have people over at my house and show off how amazing it is. Also great that I get to see a bunch of my friends from around the country and hear about their experiences at post so far. Of course with our group things get ridiculous as usual, but in a good “reminds-me-of-training” way. Big “high”…However it’s a “low” as this is the last time (for who knows how long) I’ll see Taressa and Krissy (who officially decides to ET). It’s bittersweet b/c although I get to see them before they leave, it doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye to two good friends.
Krissy leaving has been one of the hardest emotional blows the past few months. When we come to Togo, we leave everyone behind, family and friends. We are thrust together very suddenly in a foreign environment so emotional bonds between people typically form rapidly and with great strength. What we create is our own close knit circle of friends who become our “family” in Togo. When Krissy ET’d, it broke a strong emotional bond and left the sort of gap in our family the way it would be if you were to lose a cousin you were close to. I have created several strong friendships with many people, inside and outside my stâge and Krissy just happened to be the person I felt closest too. No rhyme or reason and I don’t even know if she felt as close to me as I did to her. And there was nothing romantic there; she was just someone who I felt understood who I was and where I was coming from. We had several things in common but most importantly of all, I trusted her, which is a big deal because it usually takes me a while to trust anyone having had my trust broken several times in the past. I mean I know she made the right decision and I only really care that she’s happy back in the US, but it’s still shitty to lose one of the few people who you really click with. So Krissy, it sucks that you are gone but know that you are very much missed…
So yea, as you can see the past four weeks have been tough. It’s funny because they haven’t been tough in the way that everyone else said the first few months are tough. I was totally not expecting this. But it’s happened and I’m dealing with it. It’ll take time to figure out where to go from here but hey, I have 2 years right?
*sigh*
- Nikhil
P.S. Shout out to Andrew DeRussy, Dustin Hipp & Michael Lindsey for sending me e-mails/facebook messages. Much appreciated guys. They definitely made my day…
When they said you’ll experience your “highest highs and lowest lows” they really weren’t kidding! I apologize for not having posting in over a month but the past few weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. Not so much with adjusting to life here in Togo, as I am feeling pretty well “adjusted”, but a series of good and bad events have been seriously playing with my mental state. One moment something amazing is happening and I am on top of the world; the next moment and something is dragging me down to the ground. Let’s go back a few weeks and watch the Ferris wheel of my life spin…
September 13th: I finally attended my first VST meeting in Sotouboua. Every month on the second Saturday, all the members gather to discuss various issues from updates by the administrative bureau to discussing the role nutrition plays in keeping one’s CD4 count high. It was great to finally meet many of the members whom I had not met before; it was also the first Togolese run meeting that I had attended so it was interesting to watch the group dynamics of how they facilitate. Although the meeting started off as a “high”, it slowly progressed into a big “low” when two events transpired during the meeting. First of all, Fortuné, my official homologue who works as a lab technician at the hospital and was also one of the founding members of Vie Saine announced that he was being “affectée-d” (or transferred) to Kpalimé. As a government worker, people are constantly being affectée-d to various parts of the country to meet the needs of those communities; no one really has a choice because you either move or you get fired. Since working “for the government” (technically) is probably one of the best and most stable jobs one can find in Togo, everyone pretty much does as they are told. Anyways, with Fortuné being transferred to another part of the country, at least 6 hours away, this poses a problem for Vie Saine since he was not only a driving force in the community for HIV/AIDS advocacy but also as the lab technician, he was aware of the HIV status of any person in the community who got tested. Losing Fortuné is a huge loss for VST.
Second, after Fortuné’s announcement, a fight breaks out between Bello, my other homologue and also the Executive Director of VST, and the members. Due to a misunderstanding in communication and in how exchange rates work, the members accused Bello and Fortuné of “bouff-ing” (stealing) money; this is apparently a huge problem and something we as PCVs need to watch out for when planning projects. The misunderstanding occurred because the previous month, a Spanish group of volunteers (led by Fortuné’s brother who lives in Spain) visited VST and donated about 200 Euros and a bunch of old clothes. The members misunderstood and thought the group had donated 200.000 CFA which is a very different amount (200 Euros is about 150.000 CFA). Even though the admin bureau tried to explain the situation, things got heated. I think this is where some other issues came into play such as Bello being Nigerian and untrustworthy (they REALLY HATE Nigerians not just here in Togo but in Africa in general apparently…If you call someone a Nigerian, it’s a HUGE insult!) and I think someone was called a whore but since at this point the group switched to a mixture of French and Kabiyé, I was totally lost (most of the drama that I am discussing is part what I was able to understand and part what Bello explained to me the next day in a post-meeting recap). Anyways, drama drama drama and next thing I know Bello is announcing that he is resigning. So now I’m left with zero homologues.
Oh and to top it all off, instead of saving that money that was donated by the Spanish group and putting it towards developing projects for VST, the bureau decides to donate the money out to all the individual members which turns out to be very little (each members received between 3.000 and 5.000 CFA which is between $6-$10). This substantially decreases the amount of money VST has to work with for the upcoming months.
So basically in one meeting, I find out that I am losing both of my homologues and that my AIDS association is pretty much broke. Fan-freaking-tastic...
September 18th: Tami from Tchamba meets me in Sokodé to present me with the cutest puppy ever: Swarley! During post visit, Tami was asking around to see if anyone wanted to get one of the new puppies from her compound. Since I had always wanted a dog and mom can’t stop me since I’m on a different continent, I agreed and Tami gave me the puppy and all her old dog supplies for free. Score! Definite “high” as I FINALLY get to own a puppy! Should be interesting…
September 27th: My phone is stolen in the Sotouboua marché. I was running around in the late afternoon picking up some soja and tomatoes for dinner when I reach into the outside pocket of my bag and discover that my phone is gone. I try retracing my steps and frantically search the marché and my house for it but can’t find it. After locating Marcus and having him call my phone, I discover that it has been turned off which means that it was definitely stolen. So now I have to go to Sokodé to get a new phone…I also receive word through Marcus that Taressa has decided to ET (early terminate) and that Krissy is contemplating ETing as well. Definite “low”…
Oct. 1st: I head to Pagala and then Atakpamé to participate in the CREJE training of trainers (TOT) for a new OEV club based on the AED-Kara Club Espoir model. It was awesome to not only see my volunteer friends in the Plateaux Region but great to play with kids for a weekend. I want to start a similar project in Sotouboua through Vie Saine so it was good to learn about kids clubs and to know that I have support from the Atakpamé crew. Big “high”…
On the other hand I find out Allison has already ETed and quiet Mikey is about to ET. There must be something is the Peace Corps water cooler because quiet Mikey makes him the 4th person to ET within a span of 2 weeks from our stage. “Low”…
October 8th: I help out with a dépistage at the Sotouboua hospital that is co-sponsored by VST. It’s nice to feel productive. Fortune let’s me sit in on some pre- and post- test counseling sessions with patients so I get exposed to HIV testing and counseling. “High”…
October 11th: Reid wants to have a big party for her birthday and cook jambalaya so I offer my house since it’s made for hosting large parties. It’s nice to have people over at my house and show off how amazing it is. Also great that I get to see a bunch of my friends from around the country and hear about their experiences at post so far. Of course with our group things get ridiculous as usual, but in a good “reminds-me-of-training” way. Big “high”…However it’s a “low” as this is the last time (for who knows how long) I’ll see Taressa and Krissy (who officially decides to ET). It’s bittersweet b/c although I get to see them before they leave, it doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye to two good friends.
Krissy leaving has been one of the hardest emotional blows the past few months. When we come to Togo, we leave everyone behind, family and friends. We are thrust together very suddenly in a foreign environment so emotional bonds between people typically form rapidly and with great strength. What we create is our own close knit circle of friends who become our “family” in Togo. When Krissy ET’d, it broke a strong emotional bond and left the sort of gap in our family the way it would be if you were to lose a cousin you were close to. I have created several strong friendships with many people, inside and outside my stâge and Krissy just happened to be the person I felt closest too. No rhyme or reason and I don’t even know if she felt as close to me as I did to her. And there was nothing romantic there; she was just someone who I felt understood who I was and where I was coming from. We had several things in common but most importantly of all, I trusted her, which is a big deal because it usually takes me a while to trust anyone having had my trust broken several times in the past. I mean I know she made the right decision and I only really care that she’s happy back in the US, but it’s still shitty to lose one of the few people who you really click with. So Krissy, it sucks that you are gone but know that you are very much missed…
So yea, as you can see the past four weeks have been tough. It’s funny because they haven’t been tough in the way that everyone else said the first few months are tough. I was totally not expecting this. But it’s happened and I’m dealing with it. It’ll take time to figure out where to go from here but hey, I have 2 years right?
*sigh*
- Nikhil
P.S. Shout out to Andrew DeRussy, Dustin Hipp & Michael Lindsey for sending me e-mails/facebook messages. Much appreciated guys. They definitely made my day…
